Permission

I want to be someone else. Do I need the permission of those in my life to do this? Or can I just move forward with my plans and become who I want to be?

I know that I have been quiet as of late. The world catches up with you and leaves with with no time for anything. But I am still here. I haven't disappeared off of the face of the planet. There are those who are not lucky enough to have me just up and disappear.

Always,
Ophelia.

Confirmation. Realization. Revealing.

Confirmation, once again, that I should just stop putting forth any kind of effort. For trying just does not work out so very fantastically.

Confirmation that I apparently have the sex drive of some kind of animal. Like a rabbit. "Fuck like a rabbit" anyone?

I really need to get laid.

Yes. I do realize that this post is out of my usual style.

Shrug. Shit happens. Been one of those days. Thusly, I do not care if you are happy or not.

I would also like to note that since one or two people occasionally wonder onto my page, no one is going to read this. So it doesn't matter if I sound like myself or not.

Learn this. There are many facets to the Ophelia whose mind you are crawling around within. You will see them as time passes. For I am not always a strong-willed, independent, level-headed woman. Sometimes I am a scared little girl. Sometimes I am vulnerable. Sometimes I am just pissy and in need of a good fuck.

Always,
Ophelia.

Left Behind

People seem to be leaving my life right now. Ones that have been in my life for a short period of time, and some that have been there for years.

I keep telling myself that it is for the best.

I don't believe me very much.

Always,
Ophelia.

It Begins...

I have begun the changes.

They have begun simply cosmetic. Hair really. That has altered my self-confidence a bit. Made me feel a little better about myself.

Always,
Ophelia.

Eyes and Windows

Eyes are said to be the window to the soul. What do you see when you look into my eyes?

I know what I see when I look in the mirror. I see what is. I see the flaws. I see the damages of time and carelessness. When I look into my mind...I see possibilities. I see concepts. I see what is to come. But only what I have some control over. I have no control over outside forces. I do have minimal control over what I can do.

Like my appearance to a degree.

I can't go and alter my bone structure or anything like that. I can change my hair, weight, muscle toning, etc.

I know what I want. I intend very much so to make it happen as best as I am able.


Always,
Ophelia.

Make Me Pretty

I have plans. I have goals. I have dreams.

Make me pretty.

Always,
Ophelia.

Moving On

I am always looking for an escape. I have always wanted out. I want to go to some place new. Make a new start. Be someone new.

What's funny is...I'm always looking for a reason to stay.

Always,
Ophelia.