Markings

I have some new markings. They make me happy in my own odd little way.

Red has been laid out as a colour to come. Shade has yet to be determined, but red nonetheless.

My plans may be shifting on their own, and that is fine with me. There are still going to be changes in varying degrees. I will be the person that I want to be.

Always,
Ophelia.

Shifting

I have not been feeling much like posting or doing much of anything.

I have been thinking though.

My plans may have to be altered financially. What I am wanting to do and what I can afford to do are two entirely different creatures. One is more easily tamed than the other, and that is the one that I may have to go with unless there are some major shifts in my future.

Always,
Ophelia.

Tired

I am growing tired right now. Nothing special. Just tired.

I don't really feel like doing anything.

It will pass.

Always,
Ophelia.

Closure

At this time and over the next couple of days, a chapter in my life is drawing to a close.

As this chapter closes, we begin a new chapter. Full of possibilities. Even a little hope. With this new chapter comes new changes, in theory many of them.

Are you here for the ride? To watch me fall? To watch me succeed?

Take your pick. We will see who is correct.

Always,
Ophelia.

Thus far in the story...

Today has been fairly calm.

I haven't done half of what I should, but I have been thinking and planning.

The plans have not moved any more forward than they have them. It is all in timing. And some of these things take time.

I have ideas for photos as well. But those would take so arranging and the proper model or subject. Or, more appropriately, a proper photographer. I am no where near the par that of my ideas.

Always,
Ophelia.

And the sun rises..

Reality is a very cruel master, you know. You try so very hard to escape it, and you cannot.

I have a tendency to live in my head, for it is easier and less likely to end in pain. Every morning, though, I have to rise and face the day. I have no reason to get out of bed in the morning aside from obligation. I am looking to change this little fact. It is part of the larger scheme of my plans.

I will be a new person. A new me. A better me.

People seek the beautiful. I want to be beautiful.

Always,
Ophelia.

The Pain of a Broken Heart. Of a Bleeding Heart.

I am sorry, you know. I tell you this and you just ignore me.

I am sorry that I pointed out the ugly truth. Pointed out my position in your life.

I am a substitute for another. The bed warmer. The one you touch while thinking of her.

I accept it. You don't seem to like the reality of things. It isn't my fault. You have made your decisions. You have chosen your love and your lover. For you will never love me, and that I have accepted.

Keep playing games with me though...Keep playing games and the games will be public.

I stopped playing those games. The games in which I beg for your attention, your voice, your touch. I can seek the touch of another. I just prefer yours. Long for it. Love it.

Do I need you?
Yes and no.
Do I want you?
Maybe so.

You don't need me. You don't want me. You just use me. And I let you. I accept it because I love you. That doesn't make it right, but that makes it my decision.

I am making many decisions right now. Let this be my decision. I would like for you to enjoy it while it lasts. While I allow you to use me.

You won't even see this.

I love you, my dear.

Always,
Ophelia.

Plotting and Schemeing

The plans are being drafted for the new.

I have ideas and theories that can only be tested and enacted in the months to come. And will be tested and enacted in the months to come.

The new Ophelia will be born soon enough. Her colors are red, purple, and black. She is of passion and elegance.

She will come full circle soon.

And then, only then, will my face be revealed. For I want no preconseptions based on appearance. Take my words as they are. Do not place them with a face of some woman that I am not.

Always,
Ophelia.

The Trust of Man

I should know better than to trust man.

They are never there when you need them. When you have neve asked for anything before, they cannot be there simply to listen when you have had a hard day and shared an unhappy truth or two.

To trust in man is to ask for disappointment and recieve it. Then you ask for it again, coming back time and time again for more even though you should have learned the first time.

I have come back for more. And I should have learned the first time or twenty.

Yours,
Ophelia.

Enter Ophelia

If you will not hug me,
I will hug you still.

If you will not kiss me,
I will kiss you still.

If you will not think of me,
I will think of you still.

If you will not love me,
I will love you still.

Always.

Until the end of time.
Until the winds stand still
And the rains fall no more.

For love is forever.
And love does not fade with time.

Love your little beauty now
And for as long as you desire.
For I will love you longer.

For my love is true.

Even if you will never love me,
I will always love you.

Enter Ophelia.

You do not know my face. My name. My past, present, or future.

You know only what I tell you, and what I tell you is nothing but the truth.

Enter Ophelia. Tell your story. Your story of truth, be it happy, sad, painful, lonely. Tell your truth. Let it be free and known.

For the truth is supposed to set you free. And Ophelia, you should be free.

Enter Ophelia.

I am Ophelia.